Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

So, I have been watching a rash of old gangster movies. First, the Goodfellows. Then Scarface. Today I just got the Godfather Trilogy. I have come to realize that I appreciate how the gangsters operate. I keep seeing themes of blind loyalty, trust, and "the family". The gangsters are all about business, in a way they are ultra capitalists. In the Godfather, the Don is a man who protects his family and friends with a passion unheard of elsewhere. The small catch is that they kill, extort, bribe, and do whatever it takes to get the job done. But the blind trust and loyalty in the mafia dons is something I dont see anywhere else (perhaps except in the case of President Bush). I wish that families were as close as the mafia ones. Some are, no doubt. But how many people still eat dinner at the table as a family? How many families have a mother to take care of domestic issues and a father to take care of business and protection of the family? Call it sexist or whatever you want, but children need a strong mother and father. I really think if there are children in the house one parent should stay with them. I hate that in so many families, both parents have to work. In the mafia, it isn't like that. I like that if you mess with one person in "the Family" everyone in the family gets pissed and does something about it. Do you ever feel like if you got robbed or beat up, the most that would happen is you'd file a police report, and your friends would 'feel for you', but honestly; Where is the retribution? Where is that fierce loyalty and respect?

How about ambition? In Scarface, the main character wants the world. But, he doesn't just want it like I want a house and a nice life. He just fuckin takes the world by the nuts. He doesn't accept that he has a place in the world, he can't listen to people saying to slow down, he doesnt "work his way up" like you or me. He was honest about what he wanted; that being Everything. But, his hubris brings him down in the end, you know? There is this scene in the movie near the end when he has finally made it. He was rich, powerful, had the woman he wanted. They were eating in a restaurant and he asks her "Is this it? Where do we go from here? We have the nice suits, the nice dinner, the power and money. Where do we go from here?" (I paraphrase naturally) It kind of made me wonder about that myself. My goal has been to have a house, a good job, I'd like to live comfortably, a wife, maybe even a few kids someday. But, then what? Get richer? A nicer house? Or do I not aspire to anything higher? Do I just keep plugging on, sedate and dead inside? I dont have any answer for these questions. I wish I did.